My Deep Dark Tomb

My Dark Hole,
You slimy middle one,
You have decided my life since birth,
Its you who has conditioned me,
My instincts are at your beck and call,
My schedules are altered to protect you,
My ambitions are structured considering your safety,
My relationships are based on your availability,
Its you that is noticed and not me,
And I am made to feel I am in you rather than you being in me,
I get a feeling of filth when I sense the secret gazes on you,
Sometimes I just want to stitch up your walls so that I can find peace,
When the garbage of realisation accumulates in my soul
I get angry and I hurt you,
I make you bleed,
When you bleed,you push me into a shithole of emotions for no reasons,
The world has still not been able to define you,
It rather defines me in relation to you,
And in that narrow definition my self is murdered heniously,
Neglected is my pride,my mirth, my existence.
I try to shut my ears and blind myself to escape the feeling of vulnerability,
But your presence in me will always make me porous.
I know I am coveted only because I have you,
But I wont let you be happy or feel good,
I wont let slitherers to slip into you,
Thats my revenge to the one who has placed you in me
Because my life is the price you make me pay for carrying you in me!

Finale of a long hide and seek!

Sat away from you
Because I wanted to touch you,
Avoided eye contact
Because your eyes ignited mine,
Walked opposite to you
Because I felt vulnerable,
Wrote verses about you
Because I never had the courage to tell you straight,
Kept quite about the sleepless nights
Because I wanted you to sleep peacefully,
Now that I have come a long way on my own,
I understand that the walk was beautiful
Because I thought you would follow me,
But when I look back at the crossroads now,
I see just me and the signboards
Which tell me that I have come the wrong way,
I should have chosen to follow you instead,
Now that I have chosen my own way,
I prefer walking till I reach the dead end.

Blue Venom

Ink,
Your are my poision,
My pen sucks your blue out from my veins
Through its nibs you bleed onto my canvas,
Giving me a haemorrhage of thoughts,
Sometimes you blot,
Sometimes you smudge,
Sometimes you make an abrupt halt,
You are all over the torn off pages in my dustbin,
You are all over the surface of my diary,
You drip onto my white night dress,
You make my neat nails blue,
You flow away from me at times
But return to philander on my page,
Like the blue sea on the reef,
Drown me in your blue,
Bleed on me,
Drug me,
My nocturnal counterpart!

Pilgrimage of love

Take me to a pilgrimage of love,
Let me place myself at your feet,
Let me dip my soul in you serene waters,
Shower on me the smel of burning insence sticks,
Wrap me in holy saffron,
Make me walk around your sacred fire,
Behead me at the golden dawn and
Accept my bleeding love as my holy sacrifice,
Burn my body in your sandalwood pyre,
Press my ahses onto your forehead,
Inhale my smoke into your solemn self,
For I am entangled in your thread of divinity,
My diety,
My sigh of relief,
Grant me this one last wish,
Bless me with eternal bliss,
Take me to a pilgrimage of love!

Familiarity

The secret meetings,
The hurried kisses,
The intense looks,
The long hugs,
Those increased heartbeats,
The beach evenings,
The restlesness within
That fueld my soul,
Everything is gone now that we are togather,
The love is gone,
The spark has died,
Blame it on whatever but now its too late,
Because as they say familiarity sure breeds contempt!

Red

The red of the gulmohar is the red within u and me
While u are away to bring red i stand here,
Not knowing the changing seasons,
Ignorant of the moving time,
Passers by come and go,
They try to make my gulmohar bloom
But mine will blossom only in the warmth of ur red...
And here i wait... not knowing the change in seasons...
Bring me my red
Because the red around me is no longer red...

City Lights

The city lights have gone off,
Roads are deserted,
Stars have slept under the black silence,
I stand here, looking through my half open window,
Sleepless, restless.
My long loose white robe flies in the breeze,
It uncovers my hidden fear of solitude,
The hustle of the city has died down,
People are sleeping behind the comfort of their closed doors,
But I am here, staring at the nothingness,
Trying not to feel miserable without you,
Wondering where you might be now,
Are you even thinking of me?
I don’t know, but you are missed!